Here are a few questions to help you decide if you're a member of the Elastic Waistbands Society.
- Do you use your exercise bike as a coat rack?
- Do you count on the slimming effect of wearing black so much that people often ask if you’re headed to a funeral?
- Have you ever spent an afternoon trying to look “cool” as you search for your car in the mall parking lot?
- Do you believe that cheesecake and Prozac share many of the same healing qualities?
- When a form asks for your hair color, do you write Number 186?
- Have you gotten to that point in life where you realize you’re being nice to people just to be sure you’ve got a crowd at your funeral?
- Do you think that The Night of the Living Dead is a movie about your job?
- Have you ever been called “ma’am” by a young man whom you think is “checking you out”?
Scoring: If you took the time to read this quiz, you're one of us -- a member of the Elastic Waistbands Society!
And that’s okay. Because we’re all in this together…
Adapted from the book, THREE FEET UNDER: Journal of a Midlife Crisis by Christee Gabour Atwood.