Sunday, November 30, 2008
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Upcoming Event
In case you'd like to visit and are in the Baton Rouge area -- check out my presentation that I'll be doing for the Baton Rouge chapter of ASTD on December 11, 2008. It's called "But UnSeriously Folks!"
http://chapters.astd.org/SiteDirectory/NewOrleans/Pages/Events/Chapter%20Events/EventDescriptions.aspx?Event=12&recur=&ParentUrl=/Pages/Events/RegionalCalendar.aspx&ID=http://chapters.astd.org/SiteDirectory/BatonRouge
http://chapters.astd.org/SiteDirectory/NewOrleans/Pages/Events/Chapter%20Events/EventDescriptions.aspx?Event=12&recur=&ParentUrl=/Pages/Events/RegionalCalendar.aspx&ID=http://chapters.astd.org/SiteDirectory/BatonRouge
Monday, November 17, 2008
Talking To My Arm
I’ve taken up a new hobby. And yes, you’re going to laugh, but that’s a good thing… After all, this is supposed to be a humorous blog…
My new hobby is ventriloquism. Why, you ask? Why would someone take up something that is considered a dying art? You might also ask why I took six years of Latin in school, which is considered a dead language. It’s because I fly in the face of convention. Because I fly in the face of popular opinion. Because I also fly in the face of good taste.
But, for you to really understand, I’ll have to let you listen in on a conversation with my alter ego.
My new hobby is ventriloquism. Why, you ask? Why would someone take up something that is considered a dying art? You might also ask why I took six years of Latin in school, which is considered a dead language. It’s because I fly in the face of convention. Because I fly in the face of popular opinion. Because I also fly in the face of good taste.
But, for you to really understand, I’ll have to let you listen in on a conversation with my alter ego.
Me: Meet Sophie, my dummy.
Sophie: Who are you calling a dummy?
Me: Sophie, it’s just your designation. One of us has to be the person. The other is the dummy.
Sophie: You picked the wrong one.
Me: Sophie is also my inner critic.
Sophie: There’s a problem with that. Have you looked at the end of your arm?
Me: What?
Sophie: Your ‘inner’ critic is on the outside. More specifically I’m on your arm.
Me: Yeah, I know. But this is a really big thing for me. You see, normally I talk to myself a lot. Now I’m talking to someone else, so I don’t look as crazy.
Sophie: You’re talking to your arm.
Me: No, I’m talking to you.
Sophie: Do I have to repeat that ‘end of your arm’ speech?
Me: But it’s different when there’s somebody on the end of my arm.
Sophie: Somebody? I’m a piece of material, a little vinyl, with a hand up my …
Me: Whoa! This is a family blog. Hey, you know, this ventriloquism thing is a lot easier than I expected.
Sophie: Excuse me, dear… But there’s another problem. Most ventriloquism is done when people can see your lips.
Me: I’m keeping it simple at this point.
Sophie: Simple, yeah, yeah. Why did you really pick this hobby?
Me: Why do you think there’s another reason?
Sophie: The arm knows all.
Me: Okay, you’re right. Actually, it’s all about psychology.
Sophie: Explain.
Me: I need therapy. I’m self-employed. Can’t afford a psychiatrist, so I’ll settle for talking to you.
Sophie: Do you know how sad that is?
Me: Of course, I know. But you already know I have a split personality. At least now it’s in a socially acceptable format.
Sophie: Socially acceptable? Do you realize how uncool ventriloquism is? Good grief, woman, don’t you realize that, while cars will at least swerve to miss a mime, they’ll actually aim for ventriloquists?
Me: Whatever you say. Which brings up the other psychological reason for this hobby. I’m not assertive.
Sophie: That I’ll go along with. You’ve got all the backbone of a salted slug.
Me: Thanks for that visual.
Sophie: So, what you mean is that I’m here to say the things you don’t have the nerve to say?
Me: That’s the gist of it.
Sophie: That’s a little pitiful, don’t you think?
Me: Welcome to the craziness of my mind.
Sophie: Actually Christee, I’m happy to be here. It’s the only place I feel at home.
Me: Hey folks, we’ll be here all month. So you’d better move on to another blog. And don’t forget to tip your waitress…
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Losing Found Time
Sometimes it’s a little embarrassing to realize that you’ve totally missed the point of a new discovery.
I realize this as I play with my favorite birthday gift to myself – my vacuuming robot. Yes, I was drinking wine again while watching one of the television shopping networks. But this time I was actually sober enough to notice something useful. And when my new little friend appeared on my porch today, I realized that life would never be the same.
This incredible little toy looks like a stack of paper plates and runs around the house and vacuums while I do other things. The point of this is so that I don’t have to waste time on silly things like cleaning floors, and instead I can work on books, client projects, family matters, and even paying household bills on time.
Now this all sounds quite grownup, doesn’t it? And yet, here I sit on a Saturday morning, watching Hazel (I’m trying that name on for size) vacuum my living room. My husband comes in.
“A real timesaver, huh?”
“Absolutely!” I agree with relish. I’d agree with a hot dog too, but it’s a little early in the day for that.
“So, what are you going to do now?”
Oh, I just thought I’d keep Hazel company.”
He is plussed. (I’ve always thought that if people can be nonplussed, they should be able to be plussed too.) “You do know that it’s not alive, right?”
“Of course. But that doesn’t mean she doesn’t need company.”
“Of course.” Yeah, I know he’s humoring me, but what do I care? I’ve got a robot vacuuming my house.
“So, you’re not going to do anything else with this ‘found’ time?”
“I was thinking about having a Bloody Mary.”
“That’s all you’re going to do with this free time?”
I nod. “You’re right. That’s just silly of me. I think I’ll also have a Mimosa.”
He shakes his head and retreats to the back of the house.
No, I don’t really drink that much, but it’s a great way to scare off a spouse who looks like he has a great idea of something you could do with your spare time. If God had wanted me to clean that kitchen, he wouldn’t have made old bread turn into penicillin.
Besides, right now I’m thinking of other uses for the robot. It’s diverting my cats’ attention away from forcing their way onto my lap while I try to type, so I’m thinking about attaching a tail to Hazel and see if I can get them to chase it around with dusting cloths on their feet. That could double the use of the cleaning time.
For Halloween, I think Hazel is going to be a bat. The ears and wings will be so cute and she can carry the candy bowl on her back so I don’t even have to stand up when kids come to the door.
And, the coup de grâce (or is it Coupe DeVille?) is that I can sit and watch Hazel and try to think of even more uses for her so I can avoid using my ‘found’ time to address work, family, and bill-paying.
Now, if I can just teach her that I prefer two olives in my martini.
I realize this as I play with my favorite birthday gift to myself – my vacuuming robot. Yes, I was drinking wine again while watching one of the television shopping networks. But this time I was actually sober enough to notice something useful. And when my new little friend appeared on my porch today, I realized that life would never be the same.
This incredible little toy looks like a stack of paper plates and runs around the house and vacuums while I do other things. The point of this is so that I don’t have to waste time on silly things like cleaning floors, and instead I can work on books, client projects, family matters, and even paying household bills on time.
Now this all sounds quite grownup, doesn’t it? And yet, here I sit on a Saturday morning, watching Hazel (I’m trying that name on for size) vacuum my living room. My husband comes in.
“A real timesaver, huh?”
“Absolutely!” I agree with relish. I’d agree with a hot dog too, but it’s a little early in the day for that.
“So, what are you going to do now?”
Oh, I just thought I’d keep Hazel company.”
He is plussed. (I’ve always thought that if people can be nonplussed, they should be able to be plussed too.) “You do know that it’s not alive, right?”
“Of course. But that doesn’t mean she doesn’t need company.”
“Of course.” Yeah, I know he’s humoring me, but what do I care? I’ve got a robot vacuuming my house.
“So, you’re not going to do anything else with this ‘found’ time?”
“I was thinking about having a Bloody Mary.”
“That’s all you’re going to do with this free time?”
I nod. “You’re right. That’s just silly of me. I think I’ll also have a Mimosa.”
He shakes his head and retreats to the back of the house.
No, I don’t really drink that much, but it’s a great way to scare off a spouse who looks like he has a great idea of something you could do with your spare time. If God had wanted me to clean that kitchen, he wouldn’t have made old bread turn into penicillin.
Besides, right now I’m thinking of other uses for the robot. It’s diverting my cats’ attention away from forcing their way onto my lap while I try to type, so I’m thinking about attaching a tail to Hazel and see if I can get them to chase it around with dusting cloths on their feet. That could double the use of the cleaning time.
For Halloween, I think Hazel is going to be a bat. The ears and wings will be so cute and she can carry the candy bowl on her back so I don’t even have to stand up when kids come to the door.
And, the coup de grâce (or is it Coupe DeVille?) is that I can sit and watch Hazel and try to think of even more uses for her so I can avoid using my ‘found’ time to address work, family, and bill-paying.
Now, if I can just teach her that I prefer two olives in my martini.
NaNoWriMo
This is the countdown week to National Novel Writing Month.
On Saturday, November 1, you can join over 100,000 people in 80 countries as they attempt to slam out 50,000 words in 30 days. That's not so bad. It's less than 2,000 words per day. And they don't even have to be good words. Heck, you've read my columns, you know that most of my words aren't good words...
Think about it!
Check it out at NaNoWriMo.org and visit me in the Louisiana: Elsewhere region!
I've already changed my novel's plot three times. No idea what it will be by Saturday. But that's what makes this so much fun.
On Saturday, November 1, you can join over 100,000 people in 80 countries as they attempt to slam out 50,000 words in 30 days. That's not so bad. It's less than 2,000 words per day. And they don't even have to be good words. Heck, you've read my columns, you know that most of my words aren't good words...
Think about it!
Check it out at NaNoWriMo.org and visit me in the Louisiana: Elsewhere region!
I've already changed my novel's plot three times. No idea what it will be by Saturday. But that's what makes this so much fun.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Doing It Again?!
Yes, once again, I am engaging in the insanity of National Novel Writing Month... and I couldn't be more thrilled.
I'll be serving as the Municipal Liaison for the Louisiana-Elsewhere Region and you are cordially invited to join us as we pound out 50,000 words in the month of November. Words... No promise of plot, quality, or even subject-verb connections.
Check it out at NaNoWriMo.org and join us for a month to write a book -- just because...
Christee
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Presentation Tips Podcast
Oh what fun!
ASTD Press, the publisher who does my business and training books, has been hard at work creating webpages for its authors.
One of my pages is located at
http://www.astd.org/content/publications/ASTDPress/bookSearch/ManagerSkillsTraining.htm
It has info on some of my books, an interview with me done in San Diego and a neat little podcast that we did about the best way to end a presentation. If you'd like to check it out, you can listen by clicking below.
Click to hear Christee Atwood presentation tips MP3.
By the way, the golden voiced fellow who intros it is my hubbie. I can talk that man into anything with the promise of a peach cobbler...
ASTD Press, the publisher who does my business and training books, has been hard at work creating webpages for its authors.
One of my pages is located at
http://www.astd.org/content/publications/ASTDPress/bookSearch/ManagerSkillsTraining.htm
It has info on some of my books, an interview with me done in San Diego and a neat little podcast that we did about the best way to end a presentation. If you'd like to check it out, you can listen by clicking below.
Click to hear Christee Atwood presentation tips MP3.
By the way, the golden voiced fellow who intros it is my hubbie. I can talk that man into anything with the promise of a peach cobbler...
Sunday, August 31, 2008
There's a big storm a'coming...
Okay - No big blog today. It's my birthday, August 31, and I should have specified when I said I wanted a hurricane on my birthday that I meant "in a glass". So instead, we're battening down the hatches, girding our loins, and other official sounding phrases that mean we're getting ready to be blown away again here in Louisiana.
Wish us luck!!
Christee & her rubber chicken Elvis
Wish us luck!!
Christee & her rubber chicken Elvis
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Presentation Skills Article
I'd like to invite you to visit my friend, Shauna Roberts, at her blog today.
http://shaunaroberts.blogspot.com/
We did an interview on presentation skills that you might find useful and even amusing!
Have a great day!
Christee
http://shaunaroberts.blogspot.com/
We did an interview on presentation skills that you might find useful and even amusing!
Have a great day!
Christee
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