This is the countdown week to National Novel Writing Month.
On Saturday, November 1, you can join over 100,000 people in 80 countries as they attempt to slam out 50,000 words in 30 days. That's not so bad. It's less than 2,000 words per day. And they don't even have to be good words. Heck, you've read my columns, you know that most of my words aren't good words...
Think about it!
Check it out at NaNoWriMo.org and visit me in the Louisiana: Elsewhere region!
I've already changed my novel's plot three times. No idea what it will be by Saturday. But that's what makes this so much fun.
Showing posts with label national novel writing month. Show all posts
Showing posts with label national novel writing month. Show all posts
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Doing It Again?!
Yes, once again, I am engaging in the insanity of National Novel Writing Month... and I couldn't be more thrilled.
I'll be serving as the Municipal Liaison for the Louisiana-Elsewhere Region and you are cordially invited to join us as we pound out 50,000 words in the month of November. Words... No promise of plot, quality, or even subject-verb connections.
Check it out at NaNoWriMo.org and join us for a month to write a book -- just because...
Christee
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Taking a Humor Inventory
You know how sometimes nothing seems funny? I find that this is the perfect time to slow down, put on a silly hat, and take a humor inventory.
A humor inventory is the process of reminding yourself of the stuff that’s funny to you. Sort of a spelunking mission to rediscover your sense of humor. Here’s how the process works for me.
First, I read the newspaper. No, not the depressing stuff -- mainly the headlines, unusual stories, and ads. I find headlines that make me giggle like these:
A humor inventory is the process of reminding yourself of the stuff that’s funny to you. Sort of a spelunking mission to rediscover your sense of humor. Here’s how the process works for me.
First, I read the newspaper. No, not the depressing stuff -- mainly the headlines, unusual stories, and ads. I find headlines that make me giggle like these:
- Blizzard Hits Four States. One is Missing.
- Lawyer to Offer Poor Free Advice
- Grandmother of eight makes hole in one
- Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers
- Squad helps dog bite victim
- Two sisters reunite after eighteen years at checkout counter
- Something went wrong in jet crash, experts say
Newspaper advertising has its own brand of humor:
- Classified ad: Dog, faded brown, three legs, one ear missing, blind left eye, broken tail, recently neutered. Answers to the name Lucky.
- For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.
- Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.
- Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.
- We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.
- Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.
- Dog for sale: Eats anything and is fond of children.
- Stock up and save. Limit: one.
- Man, honest. Will take anything.
- Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.
- A used car lot advertised: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first!
- Illiterate? Write today for free help.
- And now, the Superstore--unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience.
I often enjoy the acerbic humor of bumper stickers. It’s the mailboxes I take out while reading them that I don’t enjoy:
- As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools.
- I still miss my ex-husband, but my aim is getting better.
- My Hockey Mom can beat up your Soccer Mom
- If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you!
- Chaos. Panic. Disorder. My work here is done.
- Jesus is coming. Everybody look busy.
I also find examples of humor in unexpected places. Like statements taken from medical reports:
- By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart rate had stopped and he was feeling better.
- Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
- On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had completely disappeared.
- The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
- Discharge status: Alive, but without permission.
- The patient has no past history of suicides.
And so, these are the sorts of things that jumpstart my sense of humor. Well, these and a cheap box of wine. But these have fewer calories.
Saturday, February 16, 2008
How to Write a Column
I write newspaper and magazine columns, so today I thought I'd give you a simple overview of the process of writing a column, just in case you aspire to be a part of this exciting and unintentionally nonprofit occupation.
First you sit at your beloved keyboard. It is, of course, best if this keyboard is actually attached to something – a computer, a typewriter, a calculator – although that last one tends to make the column a little confusing.
You stare at the blank screen. At this point, your pets will wander into the room to see what the stiff-looking person is doing. Within minutes, you have an animal shedding on your lap, insisting on being fed, or trying to mark you as his territory.
Once you have fed them and employed a lint brush, you are back at that nice keyboard. Now you’ve actually realized that you need a subject. You begin to think.
Thinking is tiring business, so you head to the kitchen for a cup of coffee. On the way back to your keyboard you realize that the mail has arrived. The next twenty minutes is spent looking through the sales flyers and your bills. Your bills encourage you to ignore the sales flyers. You leave all of these to review later.
Look at that. Your coffee must have evaporated, because every bit of it is gone. You head back to the kitchen.
At this point you realize that your kitchen is a mess, so you take the time to hide the dirty dishes in the dishwasher. Now it looks so nice it invites you to make a small snack for yourself. After this three course meal you’re back on your way to write.
Uh oh. A dust bunny is on the loose. You consider vacuuming. Laughing very hard, you continue back to that waiting keyboard.
Your pets are back. One is doing figure eights around your chair. The other is doing his Snoopy imitation, pretending to be a vulture on the back of your chair. After that drop-kicking exercise that always encourages them to find other entertainment, you are back at that darn keyboard.
Outside, you hear kids drag racing down your street. You walk out and stand in your yard, glaring at them as they pass. This does no good whatsoever, but you feel vindicated and turn to go back into the house.
Aha! There is a patch of weeds threatening to choke your rose bush. You feverishly tear the weeds up, talk to the plant, which seems to wilt a little from the garlic in your earlier snack, and finally return to the house.
As you wash your hands, you notice in the mirror that you look terrible. The next half hour is spent trying to “fix your face”, a term which means adding spackle to hide the signs of wisdom.
And now you are back at that damn keyboard.
You’re no closer to coming up with a subject than before. You think for three minutes, then realize that it’s starting to get dark. Time for supper.
After supper, you’re back at that $%^&*# keyboard, ready to write your column. Seeing that it’s now primetime on television, you realize it’s much too late to start writing a column today. Tomorrow you’ll have to get an earlier start.
And that’s all there is to it.
First you sit at your beloved keyboard. It is, of course, best if this keyboard is actually attached to something – a computer, a typewriter, a calculator – although that last one tends to make the column a little confusing.
You stare at the blank screen. At this point, your pets will wander into the room to see what the stiff-looking person is doing. Within minutes, you have an animal shedding on your lap, insisting on being fed, or trying to mark you as his territory.
Once you have fed them and employed a lint brush, you are back at that nice keyboard. Now you’ve actually realized that you need a subject. You begin to think.
Thinking is tiring business, so you head to the kitchen for a cup of coffee. On the way back to your keyboard you realize that the mail has arrived. The next twenty minutes is spent looking through the sales flyers and your bills. Your bills encourage you to ignore the sales flyers. You leave all of these to review later.
Look at that. Your coffee must have evaporated, because every bit of it is gone. You head back to the kitchen.
At this point you realize that your kitchen is a mess, so you take the time to hide the dirty dishes in the dishwasher. Now it looks so nice it invites you to make a small snack for yourself. After this three course meal you’re back on your way to write.
Uh oh. A dust bunny is on the loose. You consider vacuuming. Laughing very hard, you continue back to that waiting keyboard.
Your pets are back. One is doing figure eights around your chair. The other is doing his Snoopy imitation, pretending to be a vulture on the back of your chair. After that drop-kicking exercise that always encourages them to find other entertainment, you are back at that darn keyboard.
Outside, you hear kids drag racing down your street. You walk out and stand in your yard, glaring at them as they pass. This does no good whatsoever, but you feel vindicated and turn to go back into the house.
Aha! There is a patch of weeds threatening to choke your rose bush. You feverishly tear the weeds up, talk to the plant, which seems to wilt a little from the garlic in your earlier snack, and finally return to the house.
As you wash your hands, you notice in the mirror that you look terrible. The next half hour is spent trying to “fix your face”, a term which means adding spackle to hide the signs of wisdom.
And now you are back at that damn keyboard.
You’re no closer to coming up with a subject than before. You think for three minutes, then realize that it’s starting to get dark. Time for supper.
After supper, you’re back at that $%^&*# keyboard, ready to write your column. Seeing that it’s now primetime on television, you realize it’s much too late to start writing a column today. Tomorrow you’ll have to get an earlier start.
And that’s all there is to it.
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Come visit!
The virtual book tour continues!Today I'm visiting http://elenadorothybowmansbooks.blogspot.com/
In today's talk, we discuss really deep things about like:
- The time when a college boy I thought was flirting with me called me ma'am. I was so heartbroken. I thought I was going to be “Mrs. Robinson” in The Graduate. Instead I was Mrs. Kravitz in Bewitched.
- Ideas of how a person with the attention span of an over-caffeinated gnat can keep from getting distracted long enough to write a book.
- The ABCs of communication skills. Beats me how something useful actually sneaked into the interview.
Drop by and let's visit!
Christee & her pet rubber chicken, Elvis
Sunday, November 11, 2007
The book tour continues!
Join me for another week on the virtual book tour,
kicking off on Monday, November 12th at
We'll talk about the joys of writing, elastic waistbands,
book promotion, and National Novel Writing Month.
And somewhere in between all of that,
I might accidentally say something interesting
and you certainly don't want to miss
that rare event!!
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
Join Me This Friday, November 9, 2007
Join me this Friday, November 9th,
as I continue humiliating myself publicly
on my virtual book tour.
Friday I'll be visiting
Come by and visit with us!
- We'll be talking about my secret to writing a great novel (which is basically to look at what I do and do the opposite).
- We'll discuss the way to become an overnight success (in only 48 years).
- We'll talk about an activity that over 70 thousands writers worldwide are doing this month ... besides starving, begging for spare change, and surfing the internet instead of typing.
- We'll discover how writing can replace your psychiatrist.
- And we'll talk about how to use a full body chicken suit to achieve fame and a restraining order.
Intrigued? Great! We'll see you Friday on the blog tour!
Christee
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
Tuesday Nov 6 Virtual Book Tour Site
Today, Tuesday Nov 6, I am graciously being hosted by the site
on my Virtual Book Tour.
It's a chance for you to discover the background of my book, hear some of my pitiful insights into the publishing world and how I became an Overnight Success in only 48 years, and to talk about how to survive on 45 cents and 3 box tops a day...
Come by, take off your shoes, sit for a while ... wait, what is that smell?
Okay, put your shoes back on... But sit for a while. Leave a comment too!
Christee
Monday, October 29, 2007
Virtual Book Tour
Hope you'll join me for my virtual book tour in November!
I'll be talking about:
I'll be talking about:
- My book, THREE FEET UNDER: Journal of a Midlife Crisis
- National Novel Writing Month
- Becoming an overnight success ... in only 48 years
- An author's life ... or How to live on $4 a day
- Why cheesecake can be a good substitute for Prozac
- Promotional ideas for writers ... or 101 uses for a chicken suit
- How to use your exercise bike ... as a coat rack
- Finding the humor in everyday life ... or 102 uses for a rubber chicken
- & anything else we can think of!!
I'll be visiting the following great websites:
- Thursday Nov 1
http://inspiredauthor.com/v3/current-events-and-your-book-promotion-0 - Friday Nov 2
http://www.judgebookbycover.blogspot.com/ - Tuesday Nov 6
http://blog.myspace.com/wigglewot - Wednesday Nov 7
http://www.startatbeginning.blogspot.com/ - Friday Nov 9
http://detailwithnikkileigh.blogspot.com/ - Monday Nov 12
http://memawriter.gather.com - Tuesday Nov 13
http://elenadorothybowmansbooks.blogspot.com/ - Wednesday Nov 14
- http://mizging.blogspot.com/
- Thursday Nov 15
http://www.inspiredauthor.com/v3/author-promotional-interviews - Monday Nov 19
http://marjo-mumswritings.blogspot.com/ - Tuesday Nov 20
http: http://elasticwaistbands.blogspot.com/ - Wednesday Nov 21
http://yvonneperry.blogspot.com - Monday Nov 26
http://pamelakkinney.blogspot.com/ - Wednesday Nov 28
http://thebookconnectionccm.blogspot.com/ - Thursday Nov 29
- http://shaunaroberts.blogspot.com/
- Friday Nov 30
- http://circleoffriendsbooks.blogspot.com
Join me for some laughs ... Ask some questions ... Make some comments ...
Hope to see you there!
Christee & her pet rubber chicken, Elvis
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